Bah humbug

It's a bloody good job Christmas only comes once a year, except in James Bond films. I would become a permanently grumpy old woman. All those cheerful adverts - Asda is the prime offender this year - praising mums for being the warm heart around which family Christmas revolves. I don't have a mother and I am not one. It would be inspiring to see a retailer showing us some alternative Christmas celebrations - single women (with or without cats), eating their favourite food and enjoying being free from sticky fingers and dysfunctional family dynamics. And not in a Bridget Jones style either.

I'm off to spend the holidays in the bosom of someone else's family. I'm hoping it will include puppy-cuddling, excessive consumption of booze and the chance to walk on the beach with someone I love.